Secrets

There was a time when i didn’t have this little hint of doubt about the people who i have called close friends, and the people who i live with, and one person who from day one almost 4 years ago has been of the best friends i have had here at IC. But now there is a little hint, could be meaningless, but there. How i cam to this knowledge, my sources, shall remain un-named for their own protection as well as maybe my own, but i was informed that a very close friend of mine claims that “everyone [in my apartment] is secretly turning against alex…” Well, if such is really true i would rather that if there was a problem somone would say something because if there is something that I do that bothers them i would try not to do it. ON the other hand, part of me feels like this is the voice of a friend slipping back to a personality that we thought had left over the summer with his GF.

Ok, so maybe i am being harsh and critical, and maybe i am over reacting, but it certainly isn’t fun to find out something like that. Not really sure how to handle it, or if it is something that i have to handle, or just let be for a while and see what happens. I am thinking that that latter is probably the better course of action for the moment. I mean for the most part, i just don’t let things get to me, compartmentalize and move on, i have been doing that for a long time, seems to work, and i seem to be getting along just fine in life.

So apparently this little journal entry is turning into a little rant, which is not bad i suppose. One of the things that is bugging me, kinda in the back of my head is my room mate, steve. Now, don’t get me wrrong, steve is a great friend, but this whole pining over Becca, his ex is getting worse, and annoying. I mean yes, i understand that whatever happened sucked, and that he really loved her and whatnot, but life goes on. There are just so many things about it that bug me, starting with his “oh there is a good cahce we could get back together” attitude, i mean she dumped him from what i gathered. Then there is the fact that as we near the time that she willb e returning from London, he is starting to revert to the steve of last year, not so much fun to be around, snappy, mean, seemingly caring only about how what happens affects him and her rather than the people around them. I don’t really know if that is the best way to put it, but i can’t think of a better wat to put it in words.

I am sure that i have said it before, i am happy to have Becca come live with us next semester, i think she is a wonderful person, usually brings a happy energy with her, and i think that she is a fine addition to the apartment. Plus she can cook, and that means that when we have time as our little apartment family, which seems to be non existent right now dow to the vast amounts of work we are all doing, i won’t be the one that people look to for dinner every night. Not to be taken the wrong way, i love to cook, and i love cooking for everyone, it is certainly easier to cook for 5 than for 1 or 2, it is just nice to not have to cook all the time, makes me wonder how my mother did it when we were all at home.

Well, preview for my show is tonight! The show looks great, itran a little long in rehearsal last night, but i think that it will tighten up with the energy that an audience brings. I bought a lot of tickets for this show, my whole family and my becca are coming up to see it, plus i have to go and get one more for my cousin who would like to come on the same night that my grandparents are here. Shouldn’t be hard to do, just have to remember to do it.

At some point somone needs to go the the market, we don’t have any more milk or cereal, this probably means that I will need to go to the market, not that i mind going to the market, i just feel like i do a lot of shopping.

I suppose the end of semester stress is really starting to hit people, and maybe that is the cause of some of the grumblings that are going on around here, including my own. I mean i don’t think of myself as being stressed out at the moment, but i suppose maybe it is there. It is the end of the semester, it happens. Well, for the mement, i think that is all i have, i should go eat something, find something to eat that is. Maybe if the spirit moves again i will write more later.

2 Comments

  1. i heart you alex!!! and you are an awesome big brother! = ). I know how it goes when you hear about someone you considered to be a best friend saying things behind your back. in high school one of my ‘best friends” started talking shit about me…although she apparently did that to most of her friends, and all of them weren’t friends with her for a bit at one point or another, …but i just tolerated her the rest of the year, and havn’t talked to her since graduation, because she’s not worth my time. now from what I read you’re clearly in a different situation, but it still sorta sucks just the same.
    Lughnasa definately was not bad!! hmm, maybe I’ll write about the sound in part of my production critique, lol.
    and btw, I’m totally going to your appartment friday night for flaming queers. = )
    ~your lil sis

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