Once again it is time for that fantastic blog event: Bloggerstock. This month I am hosting Dom from Lije’s Mindstate. I won’t dawdle on introductions and just let you get to the meat of the matter, so, without further ado, bloggerstock!
Hello followers of Ice Wolf’s Ramblings, and a good whatever moment in time you’re reading this. I’d like to thank Alex for letting me guest post. I’d go through the trouble of the formalities but I assume Alex has taken care of that for me…but if he hasn’t, you can just got over to my page and get more acquainted 🙂 … (if you so happen to be an eye catching female, feel free to leave your contact when you get there;)…)…I kid, I kid but don’t let that stop you though 😛
My guest blogger for this month’s Bloggerstock is a good friend of mine, Andres Rio of Good Music, Bad Math. The theme is “Stop the World and Let Me Off”. So head on over and check it out. I guess that’s it for the intros, let’s get started shall we.
Stop the World and Let Me Off
It’s no secret that we all feel this way from time to time. I bet some of you are in this state of mind right now, things are hectic, life is getting harder to balance, and your head is about to implode from the pressure of it all. Your brain starts to slowly percolate from your ears; the room starts to spin, and your tolerance level for life drops to -1,000,000,000,000.You slip into a murky pool of depression- Wait…that’s not what happens to you? Oh…I guess it’s just me then. Allow me to share that experience with you.
It was last year around this same exact time, my brother had just died, bills were past due, and I felt completely helpless, because I was out of work and there was literally no one that me and my family could turn to for aid. I became very despondent but I hid it from everyone. Over the years I’ve learned to mask my emotions to the naked eye, although behind that mask I was this torn individual, jaded and dim. It was hell watching my mother go through what she did, the loss of her first born, she hadn’t seen him in 2 years; although they would always communicate every day. So with no job and no one I could really turn to for help you can imagine how I must have felt. On top of everything though, what really hurt the most was that, I couldn’t even conjure up any words of comfort to her. I was completely blank.
It had all happen so fast. I remember coming home from a friend’s house late that night and just as I entered the door the phone rang and I answered. The sound voice on the other end was lifeless and I could tell it wasn’t anything good about to be said. They had asked to speak with my mom and I gave her the phone. A few seconds after handing her the phone she dropped it as if it were a piece of hot metal, falling to the floor just as fast as the phone. I picked it up and heard the disturbing news. My body went stiff as his; all verbal skills were lost for a moment. I was in disbelief after that. Up to this day it still hasn’t really sunk in.
I hated the days because it meant I would be awake and have to inure another day of helplessness. I tried not to stay home, so every chance I got I would go out somewhere and stay as long as I could. When I returned I’d go to my room and shut the world out. I would have these thoughts of “why is this happening to me right now?” and “I wish there was a pause button I can use to escape this even for just 30 seconds”. The latter was farfetched I know but I couldn’t bear it all.
At that point I felt I didn’t just lose my eldest brother I lost a father figure. I couldn’t grasp the idea of it all. It was an enigma. I wanted it all to be over with. I kept blaming myself for it. I thought if I had been in a position, to be a support beam for everyone, none of this would happen. That maybe, just maybe I could’ve prevented all of this. Silly notion right? But the reality of it all was that it had happened and there was nothing I could do at that point. I still brood from time to time, but I remind myself that life goes on you know.
What got me through all of it was a saying I always heard the older folks say;
“No matter how hard life gets for you, there’s always someone who’s in a worse situation”.
With that thought in mind I slowly began to get it together, which was good because I had other things that I had going on and I needed a clear head to manage it all. I still stop and get off every now and again but I get through it. I developed as saying of my own, it goes:
“The world doesn’t stop spinning just because you and I have problems it keeps spinning to get us through them“.
Ironic isn’t it lol….
So, if you enjoyed reading this post then you should make sure to check out more of Dom’s writing on his blog. If you are looking for my post, you can fid it hosted over on Jes’ Blog, Jes Getting Started. You should also consider signing up for future bloggerstock events, so for details go to the bloggerstock site.