Hello, and welcome to Bloggerstock, an online blogger festival of sorts! My name is Alexandra and I have a blog called the Tsaritsa sez. For this month’s Bloggerstock challenge the topic is “Do over.”
I’ve written on the topic of regret before and thought I had it figured all out. I’m in a happy relationship, I live in a fabulous city, I love my friends and family, what would I have to regret? If the choices I made in the past, even the mistakes, brought me to where I am in life now, why should I want to change those choices? For instance: yeah, I probably should have gotten rid of that shitty trash-talking friend years ago, but if I had done that I would have never gone to San Francisco that weekend and met my now boyfriend.
But then again, what about the little mistakes I’ve made, or the things I could have easily done that wouldn’t alter my position in life right now, except for the better.
I perhaps should have applied myself harder in school, gone out for more extracurricular activities, taken more internships, applied for more scholarships. It’s not that I didn’t do well in school– I always got high marks in my classes and graduated with honors– but I mostly skated by. I didn’t like studying so I didn’t do it. I would leaf through a book in preparation minutes before a test, just because I didn’t feel like reading it. Most of my essays in high-school and college were written the night-before the due date. I wonder if my life would be any different now if I had actually read The Faerie Queene in its entirety. Maybe I’d have a higher-paying job? Maybe I wouldn’t be on unemployment right now.
Another thing I would want to “do over” is my inclination to get angry or pissed off whenever the mood strikes me. At times, my anger is fully appropriate, like the time I was sitting in a taqueria enjoying a burrito when a woman spat her beer all over my face. That was indeed a time to get angry and use the “cunt” word (I might have also used the “old hag ugly bitch skank” word, too). But other times my anger is not warranted and directed at the wrong person and I end up looking/acting/being a jackass. I can’t think of any particular time where I got angry about something trivial that I regret, but in general it’s an issue I’m working on. Yelling at my boyfriend and calling him a jerk because I stubbed my toe while getting out of bed is just an example.
So, to wrap up, I regret having a bad attitude (sometimes) and regret being so damn lazy when I had the chance to apply myself. I also regret dating some of the losers I dated in the past, but that’s a whole other blog post right there and I don’t even want to get into that right now. Forget I said anything.
Enjoying Bloggerstock? If you want more information or to see who else participated this month, please visit our website. If you would like to read my post, you can find it over on Lily’s blog: Is it too early for a martini?