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Life is like that sometimes

“Freedom! Heading home for a much needed day off.” ~Christine Macken (1985-2010)

I often have written about how life is short and we need to make the best of what we have.  Sometimes the stark reality in that sentiment comes out and slaps you in the face.  I have often looked around me at my friends, finding it so strange that they were getting married and some even having children, but when it comes to my contemporaries passing away, that is a completely different story.  Death is an unfortunate phase of life when it snuffs out an amazing light so early.  It is immutable though and as such all we can do is keep the memories alive in ourselves.

As I walked across the field to my cabin this evening I just watched the lights through the mist.  In a way it was very surreal, walking and thinking about my friend who passed away last Monday, July 5.  I knew what I was doing, I was trying to compose some kind of post in my head and while I thought all of these ideas that came to me were good, probably none of them will actually make it here.  All of the thinking really just made me remember her and started to make me feel sad.

I remember the last time we were together.  It wasn’t really that long ago.  We met you at Squatters along with some of your other friends from the area.  Your mother was there too.  We had some food and a couple beers and caught up on old times.  I am sure that neither of us thought that would be the last time that we would see eachother.  At least it was a happy and fun time.

I met Macken at the University of Utah.  She was a theatre student who did some work and internships with us at PTC.  I don’t think that I ever actually realized that she was an EMT, but all things considered, it doesn’t surprise me.  Macken was an amazing person and a great friend.  She was a person who really did live life to the fullest all the time and I would imagine that it wasn’t easy given her medical history.  I can’t remember a time that I didn’t see her happy.  She was dedicated, hard-working, friendly, and kind.  While we may not have been best friends, she was a great friend to have!  I (and anyone else who did) was lucky to know her.

Life is like that sometimes.  Sometimes the best of people get dealt the lousy hands.  Sometimes you just have to look for the silver lining, the golden ticket.  Hopefully the place beyond this harsh world we inhabit for our brief moment of life is actually a better place.  Hopefully it is place where the things that plagued us in our Earthly life are set aside so that we can exist in some state of peace with the rest of the universe.  I would certainly hope that if we move on to a non-corporeal existence that the physical “defects” of our bodies will cease to haunt us.

For Christine, a short poem that this sad time inspired:

Freedom comes in many forms
In days off,
nights off,
and passing storms

Those left behind can’t understand
you lie
in peace
on beach’s sand

A laugh, a smile, a memory
of time spent
living
frolicking, free

We are but travelers here on earth
we seek refuge
in passage
to death from birth

Life cannot be lived when you hide in fear
so dream
make friends
and keep them near

Life’s release to death will freedom give
yet in our hearts
and minds
you live

This post is of course dedicated to Christine Macken and the Macken family.  I am so glad that I had the chance to get to know and work with Chrstine.  She was a wonderful person and a great friend.  May you find greener pastures wherever you are and I hope you know that you will be missed.  If you want to read more about this amazing person, you can follow this link.  Rest in peace Mack.

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Of Silence

Silent Arches

Can silence be?
the background hum
the world
ever present alone
at night
sitting
silence has a sound

Cars on the street
pages flitter
drafts send plumes of swirling
past
sheets rustle against bare skin

there is none but me
who sit
contemplating
no other presence
to fill
rooms

Outside when the snow
falls
gentle on the field

On darkened stages
empty
void

This is where
the silence lives
consuming
beautiful
alone


I think the last time I posted any poetic ramblings was last summer.  Must be something about this season that makes me think about things in a more contemplative and poetic way.  Certainly a little deviation from what you normally read here, but hey, I don’t claim to stick to any formats.  Hopefully you will get to read some more like this over the course of the summer!

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Camp Haiku

These are actually from last summer. I don’t really remember what inspired me to write them, but I did. Right before I camp to camp last summer, I went on a camping trip with my cousins to all the Utah National Parks and to the Grand Canyon. We sped some time writing hiakus there, so that is probably where the format came from. Most of these are a little biased towards FA, but some work for both IA and FA. Enjoy!

Tall pine sentinels
High above the Saco Stand
Guarding FA girls

On the cabin line
Sounds of happy campers rise
Full of camp spirit

Round the campfire sit
In song and meditation
Sunset closed the day

Stars above pass by
The night sky glows watchfully
Courts and fields silent

Birds above warble
Mix with childrens cheers below
One more day goes by

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